-Insert a Driving Joke Here-

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this
car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and
examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't
have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too."


Yeah, go ahead, make a joke about driving somewhere or doing something with a car.

We all know what happened and for those of you who dont, I obviously dont know you so ummm you probably dont care. Needless to say this completely shattered my little world and sent me adrift on a tidal wave of anger and bereavement.

The only thing that made this situation better (besides the fact that my parents were awesomely cool about the whole thing...not that they don't have the right to be utterly and entirely pissed, I'm glad they chose to let me just lie in the bed of shit that I made for myself and not make the situation unbearable by hating me) is the fact that I have lost 6 pounds!! Yeah so its not that much but the last time I weighed myself was at the doctors office before winter break. So it has been a while but if you think about all the crap I ate over break and the fact that I've only been TRYING to lose weight for four weeks, I'm not complaining!

this is going to be an insanely busy week for me so I probably wont post for a while unless something catastrophic happens. just know I'm kicking ass and taking names (or just working out and eating healthy).

J F C,

Mrs. Pattinson