and by "big" I mean "HUGE"..

I have a pretty big issue...that issue being my boobs. I have huge boobs. and this is not me bragging...

I am lucky that I have a "free" membership to my schools rec center (not so free once you calculate the millions ive given them to attend their classes). So why do I want to join Golds gym and spend extra money? Because the school rec center is like a watering hole in the African Sahara. The "animals" go there and show off to one another, they show that they are prime candidates for copulation (Darwinism 101). So seeing as I am NOT a prime candidate for copulation I dont like the relentless judging and staring and excessive grunting when lifting (to show off the insane amount of strength).

So back to my big (HUGE) issue...i dont like the fact that despite how many sports bras i wear or how much duct tape i wrap around myself (is she joking??) they are STILL everpresent and STILL bounce while on the eliptical....even more, i dont like that guys unbashfuly STARE at them. not ME...THEM. i mean every once in a while you get the guy who peaks from the corners of his eyes (sooo not obvious broskey) but usually they arent ashamed because this is a place for judgement and judging is what they are good at.

Being the fattest one at the gym is an issue with me...if i felt more comfortable in work out clothes i would go more often...BUT THATS THE CONUNDRUM...i have to work out to look good in workout clothes..
that being said i have managed to workout the last three days.

oh and the diet thing hasnt been going well because SOMEONE had to have a BIRTHDAY (coughjoslyncough) so we went to olive garden. i gained 5 pounds just THINKING about going there. and THEN last night i had a few new friends that wanted to go get pizza...and i mean, c'mon, who am I to turn down FRIENDS...you know, the beggers cant be choosers type of thing.

but during the days im doing great and ive only had fast food ONCE since getting back from napa (and that was pretty shortly after i got back). i mean thats like 3 weeks...and for a girl who used to eat burger king 3 TIMES a week( i was THE burger queen)....thats progress my friend.

but now comes the hard part...going to omaha for the weekend to work. where lydia doesnt keep any food in her apt and so i usually end up getting bk for breakfast or lunch.

J F C,

Mrs. Pattinson