I absolutely love my job. I get to take care of 35 dogs who would have otherwise been euthanized. I feel fulfilled every day and the dogs show how much more faith they have in humanity than I do. It has been really hard making friends here, though. People here are very cliquish and pretty closed off to new people but i am slowllllly working my way in.
Living situation is pretty much not stellar but then again i just don't do well living with other people.
Today I had to go to St. George to see my allergist and it was a surprisingly upsetting trip. He told me things that my other allergist had failed to mention, like my thyroid is going to crap out on me in about five years and my meds make me hungry all of the time.
The fact that my meds make me hungry all of the time is such a huge relief and such a huge disappointment at the same time. It is a relief because now i know im not fucking crazy and i am actually hungry all of the time instead of me just being fat and wanting food irrationally. there is a reason! but it is so extremely upsetting because it makes losing weight that much harder and i know that is why i have always lost motivation in the past. i kind of feel defeated. i know its not an excuse to be fat but now i feel like my uphill battle just became an uphill mudslide battle.
THEN my allergist totally called me out on my OCD. He saw me picking at my fingers and goes "you know thats OCD, right?" and while I did know that, I just felt it was so alarming to have it pointed out to me by a fucking allergist.
Anyway, I watched this documentary today about the FLDS polygamist group in Colorado City, AZ and how messed up it is and how the kids and women try to escape but Warren Jeffs has them by the throat even from his prison cell. On my way to St. George I had to drive through Colorado City and it was so eerie and depressing. The place is a huge dump because all of their money goes to the church. it just made me realize how lucky i am to have grown up in a "normal" situation that didn't lend itself to some traumatizing PTSD type shit.
i have it so so so good but yet i'm never satisfied.However, right now i'm just so content with the fact that i love my job that everything else is taking a back seat. its just a relief knowing that i'm doing what i love and i'm helping out in my small, tiny way.
I still find myself grossly hateful of people for how they treat animals. I understand that animals don't hold an elevated status in everyone's life but for fuck sake what is the point in abusing a helpless creature? It is even more disgusting because humans selfishly engineered dogs to be biologically obsessed and dependent on humans and this is how we repay their loyalty and kindness.
im not even going to go further than that because i work myself up too easily. i just wish other people could see what i have seen as far as animal abuse so that they would never want to buy another dog again but instead adopt one.
okay im off my soap box now.
i filled out a 10 page packet about my mental health history today so i could get an appt with a psychiatrist to refill my meds. I have a feeling this is only going to go poorly for me. i hate drudging up the past. i just want to leave it back there.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Saturday, August 10, 2013
So tired.
One thing that I am certain about when it comes to who I am is that I do not handle change well. I know very little more about who I am but this is a certainty. When I applied for the job at BF I didn't think I would even get an offer. I then got an offer and the rest of my life became just a bunch of anxious waiting for calls. When I got offered the two week evaluation I got so nervous and in the back of my mind i told myself i wouldn't be upset if i didn't get the job because there are other things i can do. Once i got to Kanab i cried myself to sleep the first couple of nights because i was so torn about whether i even wanted the job. I mean move out to the middle of fucking no where??? But i decided i did really want the job and i was excited but now there is so much other drama in my life that its like jfd;lfsfjalfjdaofjsdoifjsdoajfodjajdso
it makes me sad and frustrated how unavailable my parents are. but then again they are making a living and helping me out. so then i just feel guilty. i feel guilty that they have to help me out with my loans. i feel guilty that they have to help me with my car. i feel like a fucking failure.
i also feel like a fucking failure because i have now been single for what seems like a century. it just affirms that people see the bitchy exterior and im not worth looking further into.
people need to stop getting engaged and married. stop having fucking babies. let me catch up.
life is hard and im tired.
it makes me sad and frustrated how unavailable my parents are. but then again they are making a living and helping me out. so then i just feel guilty. i feel guilty that they have to help me out with my loans. i feel guilty that they have to help me with my car. i feel like a fucking failure.
i also feel like a fucking failure because i have now been single for what seems like a century. it just affirms that people see the bitchy exterior and im not worth looking further into.
people need to stop getting engaged and married. stop having fucking babies. let me catch up.
life is hard and im tired.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
It's Really Hard to...
It's really hard to change your path in life after 6 years. I mean, it's hard for everyone but I have a mental allergic reaction to change.
It's really hard to leave your friends behind. It's especially hard when you don't have that many friends anyway. I have a hard time making friends as I am an "acquired taste" that many don't acquire. I am also extremely picky about who I call a friend. Not in a "I-don't-like-to-get-too-close-to-people"-way but more "I-don't-like-many-types-of-people"-way. I find people to be annoying and generally don't like associating with "new" ones.
It's really hard to keep moving places and having my allotted space get smaller and smaller. I now officially have NO room for personal belongings. I've been meaning to work on that minimalism thing anyway....
It's really hard to admit to yourself that you have been stuck in a rut. Despite your best intentions in the beginning and all of the excitement a promotion brings (OMG, I'm going to do my hair nice EVERY MORNING- HA!) ultimately I grew listless and tired. I hated my job and had to drag myself there every morning. I would then get home and want to crawl into bed and eat my feelings. Food induced comatoses are THE best way to deal with things, didn't you know?
It's really hard to admit to yourself that you are not that great of a person. When your friends stop calling you to hang out because they know you would rather watch netflix or read a book alone, is a point at which one should look into the closest nunnery.
So I hope to god that I am making the right choice by moving and starting over. But it sucks and it's really hard and I don't like being a grown up.
So I am going to just ride the wave of new path excitement and make a list of things I need to accomplish by the end of this summer at the new Fort Jaime and Dogs;
1. Pass the FUCKING GRE!
2. Sign up for school in the Fall.
3. Become a volunteer at the shelter.
4. Lose some FUCKING WEIGHT!
5. Stop hating myself and everyone around me.
6. Grow the fuck up.
So, Okoboji, I hope you're ready for the crazy that is coming to town!
It's really hard to leave your friends behind. It's especially hard when you don't have that many friends anyway. I have a hard time making friends as I am an "acquired taste" that many don't acquire. I am also extremely picky about who I call a friend. Not in a "I-don't-like-to-get-too-close-to-people"-way but more "I-don't-like-many-types-of-people"-way. I find people to be annoying and generally don't like associating with "new" ones.
It's really hard to keep moving places and having my allotted space get smaller and smaller. I now officially have NO room for personal belongings. I've been meaning to work on that minimalism thing anyway....
It's really hard to admit to yourself that you have been stuck in a rut. Despite your best intentions in the beginning and all of the excitement a promotion brings (OMG, I'm going to do my hair nice EVERY MORNING- HA!) ultimately I grew listless and tired. I hated my job and had to drag myself there every morning. I would then get home and want to crawl into bed and eat my feelings. Food induced comatoses are THE best way to deal with things, didn't you know?
It's really hard to admit to yourself that you are not that great of a person. When your friends stop calling you to hang out because they know you would rather watch netflix or read a book alone, is a point at which one should look into the closest nunnery.
So I hope to god that I am making the right choice by moving and starting over. But it sucks and it's really hard and I don't like being a grown up.
So I am going to just ride the wave of new path excitement and make a list of things I need to accomplish by the end of this summer at the new Fort Jaime and Dogs;
1. Pass the FUCKING GRE!
2. Sign up for school in the Fall.
3. Become a volunteer at the shelter.
4. Lose some FUCKING WEIGHT!
5. Stop hating myself and everyone around me.
6. Grow the fuck up.
So, Okoboji, I hope you're ready for the crazy that is coming to town!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
All that stuff between birth and death
So I'm almost 24 and it just scares me because I always felt like at this point in life people are supposed to have shit figured out. I mean it's not like im wandering around totally clueless, but i do feel discontent and totally in loathe of my job. I just have to remind myself (about every 30 seconds) that i am lucky to have a job at all, let alone a full time job...even if the pay is shit.
I cant help but to compare my life to other peoples and its both incredibly harmful and helpful depending on the day/hour/comparison being made. The proverbial "people" always say that you shouldnt compare yourself to other people and be the best you can be, but, like, wheres your reference point for success and failure then
? I mean if i didnt know there was better out there i would be like "LOOK AT ME MOFOS IVE GOT A JOB AND IM DOIN IT RIGHT" but i know theres better and im certainly not shouting that. I need to see people who are totally lazy and wasting their time/life to make me feel like YEAH, OKAY, I GOT THIS! but i also need to see that perfect bitch running her life like it was a fairy tale, so that I feel like WELL SHIT I NEED TO WORK HARDER, and BE BETTER!
Ive always had visions of what i wanted out of life. little images of things i deem perfect and would like them to fit together in this little perfect way, but i know it wont and ill have to sacrifice some/most of the things....i just hope in the end it was all good enough. though it wasnt what i was expecting/hoping/planning on its still GOOD or GREAT. I just want to be able to look back and be like, "wow i had no fucking clue and this is awesome" even if it was something i had no idea would happen.
I cant help but to compare my life to other peoples and its both incredibly harmful and helpful depending on the day/hour/comparison being made. The proverbial "people" always say that you shouldnt compare yourself to other people and be the best you can be, but, like, wheres your reference point for success and failure then
? I mean if i didnt know there was better out there i would be like "LOOK AT ME MOFOS IVE GOT A JOB AND IM DOIN IT RIGHT" but i know theres better and im certainly not shouting that. I need to see people who are totally lazy and wasting their time/life to make me feel like YEAH, OKAY, I GOT THIS! but i also need to see that perfect bitch running her life like it was a fairy tale, so that I feel like WELL SHIT I NEED TO WORK HARDER, and BE BETTER!
Ive always had visions of what i wanted out of life. little images of things i deem perfect and would like them to fit together in this little perfect way, but i know it wont and ill have to sacrifice some/most of the things....i just hope in the end it was all good enough. though it wasnt what i was expecting/hoping/planning on its still GOOD or GREAT. I just want to be able to look back and be like, "wow i had no fucking clue and this is awesome" even if it was something i had no idea would happen.
insert gratuitous artsy picture (that i totally love so shut up)
Saturday, February 9, 2013
All you need to know about me...
So the other day while perusing the interwebs like i do every.single.day. (well i actually don't usually during the weekends because i get so sick of it during the work week). ANYWAY, i came across this little drop of wisdom:
“I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” - Maya Andelou.
Well, Maya, while you did not exactly delve into what you meant by this, i could jump to a few conclusions. First conclusion being: we would not get along. Here is how i handle each of these situations:
rainy day: actually i do love me some rainy days as long as they are cold rainy days and not stupid hot rainy days where it feels like you are swimming in the depths of hell. BUT. sometimes rainy days can alter my mood and turn me into a mega-grump bent on destruction.
lost luggage: while this isn't an enjoyable experience i would like to boast of my awesomeness in how i handled this situation when they lost my luggage on the way to South Africa. honestly i don't know how they WOULDN'T have lost my luggage because the airline lost ME for fuck sake! I should also mention somewhere between not sleeping for 48 hours, weeping in a bathroom in Amsterdam and then getting in a fight over a sandwich in London (I'm sorry i did NOT order chicken because I'm a fucking vegetarian ....oh and the customer is always RIGHT....though considering my mind may have been left on the flight from O'Hare....i could have POSSIBLY...maybe...most likely ordered chicken on accident) i made a few friends and had some nice conversations.
whoa sorry lost myself in the middle there but i found my way back...
so i (finally) arrive in the beautiful land of South Africa and get picked up by the kickass people from GVI where they whisked me away to the magical land of apartments that contain beds for sleeping! As you may have noticed, picking up my luggage while at the airport was not listed as things that i did...that is because (not surprisingly, re: above paragraph) they lost my personal belongings. I however, was NOT (that) upset! It could be because all i wanted to do was sleep in the promise land, i handled it with the best attitude affordable.
However, say, i lost my luggage after a simple direct flight, i would notttt handle it well. I would do the opposite of handle it well because i tend to think the world has literally been rocked off its axis when things like this happen to me. I know this about myself and knowing is half thefun battle.
tangled christmas lights: one would have to actually decorate for the holidays in order to deal with said tangled lights but lets preteeeend i decorate mmkay? I should also mention that i am pretty fastidious when it comes to organizing so i would undoubtedly have wrapped the lights around a piece of cardboard or something to keep them somewhat organized. So once we have assumed this to be true the fact that the lights managed to get tangled would probably bother me more than untangling them. If i took the sweet ass time to organize the lights last christmas so that next christmass i could reap the benefits, you better believe there would be HELL to pay if they managed to get tangled! There would probably be cursing, screaming but ultimately lots and lots of sobbing (earth is now floating around space until it collides with another planet/star/sun/black hole to meet its untimely demise).
I agree with Maya, i just learned a lot about MYSELF so I'm sure you can gleam what kind of person i am from this...
(that was a lot of unsensicalness so i apologize... but no one reads this anyway so it all comes full circle doesn't it?)
“I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” - Maya Andelou.
Well, Maya, while you did not exactly delve into what you meant by this, i could jump to a few conclusions. First conclusion being: we would not get along. Here is how i handle each of these situations:
rainy day: actually i do love me some rainy days as long as they are cold rainy days and not stupid hot rainy days where it feels like you are swimming in the depths of hell. BUT. sometimes rainy days can alter my mood and turn me into a mega-grump bent on destruction.
lost luggage: while this isn't an enjoyable experience i would like to boast of my awesomeness in how i handled this situation when they lost my luggage on the way to South Africa. honestly i don't know how they WOULDN'T have lost my luggage because the airline lost ME for fuck sake! I should also mention somewhere between not sleeping for 48 hours, weeping in a bathroom in Amsterdam and then getting in a fight over a sandwich in London (I'm sorry i did NOT order chicken because I'm a fucking vegetarian ....oh and the customer is always RIGHT....though considering my mind may have been left on the flight from O'Hare....i could have POSSIBLY...maybe...most likely ordered chicken on accident) i made a few friends and had some nice conversations.
whoa sorry lost myself in the middle there but i found my way back...
so i (finally) arrive in the beautiful land of South Africa and get picked up by the kickass people from GVI where they whisked me away to the magical land of apartments that contain beds for sleeping! As you may have noticed, picking up my luggage while at the airport was not listed as things that i did...that is because (not surprisingly, re: above paragraph) they lost my personal belongings. I however, was NOT (that) upset! It could be because all i wanted to do was sleep in the promise land, i handled it with the best attitude affordable.
However, say, i lost my luggage after a simple direct flight, i would notttt handle it well. I would do the opposite of handle it well because i tend to think the world has literally been rocked off its axis when things like this happen to me. I know this about myself and knowing is half the
tangled christmas lights: one would have to actually decorate for the holidays in order to deal with said tangled lights but lets preteeeend i decorate mmkay? I should also mention that i am pretty fastidious when it comes to organizing so i would undoubtedly have wrapped the lights around a piece of cardboard or something to keep them somewhat organized. So once we have assumed this to be true the fact that the lights managed to get tangled would probably bother me more than untangling them. If i took the sweet ass time to organize the lights last christmas so that next christmass i could reap the benefits, you better believe there would be HELL to pay if they managed to get tangled! There would probably be cursing, screaming but ultimately lots and lots of sobbing (earth is now floating around space until it collides with another planet/star/sun/black hole to meet its untimely demise).
I agree with Maya, i just learned a lot about MYSELF so I'm sure you can gleam what kind of person i am from this...
(that was a lot of unsensicalness so i apologize... but no one reads this anyway so it all comes full circle doesn't it?)
Friday, January 25, 2013
Decompressing in 5...4..
HOLY HELL PEOPLE ARE IGNORANT!!!
First of all...if you get a dog that needs to be groomed then you better learn about what it takes to groom a fucking dog! Dont come in here with a matted dog and expect to keep the hair long!! For fuck sake you need to brush the dog out at LEAST once a day and dont forget about the arms, belly and ears because it does diddly shit to just brush a dogs back and only its back!
Okay so if your dog IS MATTED then DONT you fucking dare come in here and start a fucking riot about how we shaved your dog...because we didnt. we used a 1 blade which is the longest goddamn blade out there! The groomer spent an hour trying to blow the fucking matts out ...what did you do? Oh yeah you didnt brush your fucking dog!
ignorant fucking people ruin my fucking day! I wish i could just let this shit roll because you cant please everyone but for gods and my sake do NOT blame me for someting that is entriely YOUR fault. ALSO youre WELCOME for making your dog more COMFORTABLE because it is PAINFUL for a dog to be matted you ignorant twat.
3...2...1...
Okay I feel slightly better.
Peace.
First of all...if you get a dog that needs to be groomed then you better learn about what it takes to groom a fucking dog! Dont come in here with a matted dog and expect to keep the hair long!! For fuck sake you need to brush the dog out at LEAST once a day and dont forget about the arms, belly and ears because it does diddly shit to just brush a dogs back and only its back!
Okay so if your dog IS MATTED then DONT you fucking dare come in here and start a fucking riot about how we shaved your dog...because we didnt. we used a 1 blade which is the longest goddamn blade out there! The groomer spent an hour trying to blow the fucking matts out ...what did you do? Oh yeah you didnt brush your fucking dog!
ignorant fucking people ruin my fucking day! I wish i could just let this shit roll because you cant please everyone but for gods and my sake do NOT blame me for someting that is entriely YOUR fault. ALSO youre WELCOME for making your dog more COMFORTABLE because it is PAINFUL for a dog to be matted you ignorant twat.
3...2...1...
Okay I feel slightly better.
Peace.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Inside My Head
me while clothes shopping and looking at tumblr: "ugh i should really lose weight"
me while eating any form of dessert: "OMG this is so worth being fat for"
sort that out.
me while eating any form of dessert: "OMG this is so worth being fat for"
sort that out.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Discontentuality
I am becoming itchy with discontent. I don't know if i am just really hard to please or if everyone is as difficult as i am..? I have a good job where i love my boss and coworkers very much but i hate where im living. As a city Omaha is okayyy but i dont have super quality friends tying me down anymore so its like should i just JUMP and LEAVE while at this point? Since i cant afford to move out on my own, and i dont really have anyone to live with, i feel like i should just move to where my family is...okoboji. But Okoboji is super isolated in the winters and i dont really have FRIENDS there so id be even more desolate than i am now. Not to mention i dont have a job lined up. I could work at the club but that isnt really related to my field so it wouldnt look as good as Three Dog Bakery does. I'm in that stage in my life where shit is make or break and i have (some) flexibility and it is SO overwhelming. if i had just ONE friend in okoboji i would feel better....but i don't....and i'm not good at making friends.
okay so i'm over rambling about that now but it felt good to get that off my chest and into this infinite domain of interwebs.
I hate when people come from a wealthy or well -off family and take it for granted. They just sit on their bum and don't do anything. do you have any idea what i would do if my family could afford to let me travel? Not to mention not having student loans would be SO amazing! I love my family and i wouldnt trade them for the world but i'm just saying it's frustrating watching others waste opportunities by being childish and petty.
okay so i'm over rambling about that now but it felt good to get that off my chest and into this infinite domain of interwebs.
I hate when people come from a wealthy or well -off family and take it for granted. They just sit on their bum and don't do anything. do you have any idea what i would do if my family could afford to let me travel? Not to mention not having student loans would be SO amazing! I love my family and i wouldnt trade them for the world but i'm just saying it's frustrating watching others waste opportunities by being childish and petty.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Cynical Assholes Anonymous
The retail world has turned my already sour-pussness into full blow asshole mode. The first problem is i take everything to heart and so when a customer gets mad it feels as bad as the "parents-are-disappointed" speech. The second problem is people are just rude. Never in my life could i have dreamed up some of the things that have been spewed at me. I would NEVER walk into a store and just take all my stress out on some innocent worker. i will admit that having worked retail i am now nicer x 5 to all of the people that help me when im shopping somewhere, but never once in my past was i beligerent or snide to a worker.
Anyway, my point is that i am now a cynical old bastard that shakes his walking stick in disgust. i don't expect good things from people anymore. In fact, everytime the phone rings i expect to be yelled at. They say that the midwest actually contains the nicest people- if that is the case i dont think my heart could stand to live anywhere else in fear of being completely shattered.
The funny thing is that people always comment on how they like (or dont like) my "i dont give a crap" attitude. The truth is i do give a crap...i give a very big crap in fact! Despite giving a big crap (okay this metephor is getting kind of gross...) i have managed to put up quite the defensive wall in which i have perfected my "dont screw with me" glare and my "dont talk to me" walk... BUUUUUT this is also why i dont have many friends ( or a boyfriend...)
One day i hope that someone will be able to see through this facade and be like "holy shit, she really does give a huge metaphorical crap!" But alas....here i sit on my cynical throne of aloneness.
It doesnt help that i am pretty insecure and get all of my lifes validation through what other assholes think of me.
Sometimes i catch myself daydreaming of what it would be like to live in Washington by myself and whether i could handle being that far away from family or anyone i knew. I wold love to do this but i dont think i could handle it unless i by some miracle sprouted confidence and could make friends. I also wish i could move to England but that would lead to a meltdown for sure because then i would NEVER be able to come back and visit family...unless i married some rich lord or duke or londoner.
so im not really the type to set new years resolutions but i do want to coincidentally start working on things around the same time the calander starts anew...
- i (obviously) want to lose weight and eat better
- i want to wake up just a little bit earlier to do my hair instead of just being lazy.
- i also want to work on going out more....but i dont like going out because im too insecure...its allll connected.
- i want to get into my grad program so i need to get this freaking GRE out of the way
I find myself getting annoyed with overly happy people. I need to take a step back and just be like bro, chill out, they have more endorphins and seratonin than you, just let them be.
I'm glad that i was born deficient. Im also glad that i was born like this in a world that has stigmatized the whole freaking thing. either depression is made out to be a cutsey indie movie or its made out to be a psycho murder/suicide movie.
C'est la vie, mofos.
Anyway, my point is that i am now a cynical old bastard that shakes his walking stick in disgust. i don't expect good things from people anymore. In fact, everytime the phone rings i expect to be yelled at. They say that the midwest actually contains the nicest people- if that is the case i dont think my heart could stand to live anywhere else in fear of being completely shattered.
The funny thing is that people always comment on how they like (or dont like) my "i dont give a crap" attitude. The truth is i do give a crap...i give a very big crap in fact! Despite giving a big crap (okay this metephor is getting kind of gross...) i have managed to put up quite the defensive wall in which i have perfected my "dont screw with me" glare and my "dont talk to me" walk... BUUUUUT this is also why i dont have many friends ( or a boyfriend...)
One day i hope that someone will be able to see through this facade and be like "holy shit, she really does give a huge metaphorical crap!" But alas....here i sit on my cynical throne of aloneness.
It doesnt help that i am pretty insecure and get all of my lifes validation through what other assholes think of me.
Sometimes i catch myself daydreaming of what it would be like to live in Washington by myself and whether i could handle being that far away from family or anyone i knew. I wold love to do this but i dont think i could handle it unless i by some miracle sprouted confidence and could make friends. I also wish i could move to England but that would lead to a meltdown for sure because then i would NEVER be able to come back and visit family...unless i married some rich lord or duke or londoner.
so im not really the type to set new years resolutions but i do want to coincidentally start working on things around the same time the calander starts anew...
- i (obviously) want to lose weight and eat better
- i want to wake up just a little bit earlier to do my hair instead of just being lazy.
- i also want to work on going out more....but i dont like going out because im too insecure...its allll connected.
- i want to get into my grad program so i need to get this freaking GRE out of the way
I find myself getting annoyed with overly happy people. I need to take a step back and just be like bro, chill out, they have more endorphins and seratonin than you, just let them be.
I'm glad that i was born deficient. Im also glad that i was born like this in a world that has stigmatized the whole freaking thing. either depression is made out to be a cutsey indie movie or its made out to be a psycho murder/suicide movie.
C'est la vie, mofos.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
ChristmASS SchmismASS
So I'm kind of always a Grinch...pretty much just my nature. But usually the holidays put me in an awesome mood (except at work...because who the hell likes working retail this time of year?!)! So this year I was set to go to Arizona on the 26th and I was so so so excited. I couldn't wait to see my family and I was looking forward to going to some awesome flea markets. But NO. flash forward to me waiting for my flight in the airport only to find out that it's cancelled and they can't get me out of Omaha (to literally ANYWHERE) until Jan. 2nd. Well eff me.
I was so upset. I cried at the desk which was a bit embarrassing. I don't get to see my parents very often and I reallllllly needed them. No one really felt that bad for me and didn't understand why I was so depressed but all of my friends either live with or live near their family so no one has any clue what it's like to not see their parents more than a couple times a year.
I was a Grinch on actual Christmas too. Certain people have been throwing traditions down the toilet without a second thought and it pisses me off. I wish I would have been better at putting on my happy face but I was too annoyed.
I need to move but I'm too freaking poor to pull the trigger on getting a place. So for now I have to settle with being the odd man out at home.
Also, I am now starting to get sick. I hate that. When it starts slowly and it's like an impending doom and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
Well the world didn't end ...no Apocalypse...so there's always that...
I was so upset. I cried at the desk which was a bit embarrassing. I don't get to see my parents very often and I reallllllly needed them. No one really felt that bad for me and didn't understand why I was so depressed but all of my friends either live with or live near their family so no one has any clue what it's like to not see their parents more than a couple times a year.
I was a Grinch on actual Christmas too. Certain people have been throwing traditions down the toilet without a second thought and it pisses me off. I wish I would have been better at putting on my happy face but I was too annoyed.
I need to move but I'm too freaking poor to pull the trigger on getting a place. So for now I have to settle with being the odd man out at home.
Also, I am now starting to get sick. I hate that. When it starts slowly and it's like an impending doom and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
Well the world didn't end ...no Apocalypse...so there's always that...
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