It's really hard to change your path in life after 6 years. I mean, it's hard for everyone but I have a mental allergic reaction to change.
It's really hard to leave your friends behind. It's especially hard when you don't have that many friends anyway. I have a hard time making friends as I am an "acquired taste" that many don't acquire. I am also extremely picky about who I call a friend. Not in a "I-don't-like-to-get-too-close-to-people"-way but more "I-don't-like-many-types-of-people"-way. I find people to be annoying and generally don't like associating with "new" ones.
It's really hard to keep moving places and having my allotted space get smaller and smaller. I now officially have NO room for personal belongings. I've been meaning to work on that minimalism thing anyway....
It's really hard to admit to yourself that you have been stuck in a rut. Despite your best intentions in the beginning and all of the excitement a promotion brings (OMG, I'm going to do my hair nice EVERY MORNING- HA!) ultimately I grew listless and tired. I hated my job and had to drag myself there every morning. I would then get home and want to crawl into bed and eat my feelings. Food induced comatoses are THE best way to deal with things, didn't you know?
It's really hard to admit to yourself that you are not that great of a person. When your friends stop calling you to hang out because they know you would rather watch netflix or read a book alone, is a point at which one should look into the closest nunnery.
So I hope to god that I am making the right choice by moving and starting over. But it sucks and it's really hard and I don't like being a grown up.
So I am going to just ride the wave of new path excitement and make a list of things I need to accomplish by the end of this summer at the new Fort Jaime and Dogs;
1. Pass the FUCKING GRE!
2. Sign up for school in the Fall.
3. Become a volunteer at the shelter.
4. Lose some FUCKING WEIGHT!
5. Stop hating myself and everyone around me.
6. Grow the fuck up.
So, Okoboji, I hope you're ready for the crazy that is coming to town!
