Decompressing in 5...4..

HOLY HELL PEOPLE ARE IGNORANT!!!

First of all...if you get a dog that needs to be groomed then you better learn about what it takes to groom a fucking dog! Dont come in here with a matted dog and expect to keep the hair long!! For fuck sake you need to brush the dog out at LEAST once a day and dont forget about the arms, belly and ears because it does diddly shit to just brush a dogs back and only its back!

Okay so if your dog IS MATTED then DONT you fucking dare come in here and start a fucking riot about how we shaved your dog...because we didnt. we used a 1 blade which is the longest goddamn blade out there! The groomer spent an hour trying to blow the fucking matts out ...what did you do? Oh yeah you didnt brush your fucking dog!

ignorant fucking people ruin my fucking day! I wish i could just let this shit roll because you cant please everyone but for gods and my sake do NOT blame me for someting that is entriely YOUR fault. ALSO youre WELCOME for making your dog more COMFORTABLE because it is PAINFUL for a dog to be matted you ignorant twat.




3...2...1...


Okay I feel slightly better.

Peace.

Inside My Head

me while clothes shopping and looking at tumblr: "ugh i should really lose weight"


me while eating any form of dessert: "OMG this is so worth being fat for"



sort that out.

Discontentuality

I am becoming itchy with discontent. I don't know if i am just really hard to please or if everyone is as difficult as i am..? I have a good job where i love my boss and coworkers very much but i hate where im living. As a city Omaha is okayyy but i dont have super quality friends tying me down anymore so its like should i just JUMP and LEAVE while at this point? Since i cant afford to move out on my own, and i dont really have anyone to live with, i feel like i should just move to where my family is...okoboji. But Okoboji is super isolated in the winters and i dont really have FRIENDS there so id be even more desolate than i am now. Not to mention i dont have a job lined up. I could work at the club but that isnt really related to my field so it wouldnt look as good as Three Dog Bakery does. I'm in that stage in my life where shit is make or break and i have (some) flexibility and it is SO overwhelming. if i had just ONE friend in okoboji i would feel better....but i don't....and i'm not good at making friends.

okay so i'm over rambling about that now but it felt good to get that off my chest and into this infinite domain of interwebs.

I hate when people come from a wealthy or well -off family and take it for granted. They just sit on their bum and don't do anything. do you have any idea what i would do if my family could afford to let me travel? Not to mention not having student loans would be SO amazing! I love my family and i wouldnt trade them for the world but i'm just saying it's frustrating watching others waste opportunities by being childish and petty.

Cynical Assholes Anonymous

The retail world has turned my already sour-pussness into full blow asshole mode. The first problem is i take everything to heart and so when a customer gets mad it feels as bad as the "parents-are-disappointed" speech. The second problem is people are just rude. Never in my life could i have dreamed up some of the things that have been spewed at me. I would NEVER walk into a store and just take all my stress out on some innocent worker. i will admit that having worked retail i am now nicer x 5 to all of the people that help me when im shopping somewhere, but never once in my past was i beligerent or snide to a worker.
Anyway, my point is that i am now a cynical old bastard that shakes his walking stick in disgust. i don't expect good things from people anymore. In fact, everytime the phone rings i expect to be yelled at. They say that the midwest actually contains the nicest people- if that is the case i dont think my heart could stand to live anywhere else in fear of being completely shattered.
The funny thing is that people always comment on how they like (or dont like) my "i dont give a crap" attitude. The truth is i do give a crap...i give a very big crap in fact! Despite giving a big crap (okay this metephor is getting kind of gross...) i have managed to put up quite the defensive wall in which i have perfected my "dont screw with me" glare and my "dont talk to me" walk... BUUUUUT this is also why i dont have many friends ( or a boyfriend...)
One day i hope that someone will be able to see through this facade and be like "holy shit, she really does give a huge metaphorical crap!" But alas....here i sit on my cynical throne of aloneness.
It doesnt help that i am pretty insecure and get all of my lifes validation through what other assholes think of me.

Sometimes i catch myself daydreaming of what it would be like to live in Washington by myself and whether i could handle being that far away from family or anyone i knew. I wold love to do this but i dont think i could handle it unless i by some miracle sprouted confidence and could make friends. I also wish i could move to England but that would lead to a meltdown for sure because then i would NEVER be able to come back and visit family...unless i married some rich lord or duke or londoner.


so im not really the type to set new years resolutions but i do want to coincidentally start working on things around the same time the calander starts anew...

- i (obviously) want to lose weight and eat better
- i want to wake up just a little bit earlier to do my hair instead of just being lazy.
- i also want to work on going out more....but i dont like going out because im too insecure...its allll connected.
- i want to get into my grad program so i need to get this freaking GRE out of the way

I find myself getting annoyed with overly happy people. I need to take a step back and just be like bro, chill out, they have more endorphins and seratonin than you, just let them be.

I'm glad that i was born deficient. Im also glad that i was born like this in a world that has stigmatized the whole freaking thing. either depression is made out to be a cutsey indie movie or its made out to be a psycho murder/suicide movie.

C'est la vie, mofos.

ChristmASS SchmismASS

So I'm kind of always a Grinch...pretty much just my nature. But usually the holidays put me in an awesome mood (except at work...because who the hell likes working retail this time of year?!)! So this year I was set to go to Arizona on the 26th and I was so so so excited. I couldn't wait to see my family and I was looking forward to going to some awesome flea markets. But NO. flash forward to me waiting for my flight in the airport only to find out that it's cancelled and they can't get me out of Omaha (to literally ANYWHERE) until Jan. 2nd. Well eff me.
I was so upset. I cried at the desk which was a bit embarrassing. I don't get to see my parents very often and I reallllllly needed them. No one really felt that bad for me and didn't understand why I was so depressed but all of my friends either live with or live near their family so no one has any clue what it's like to not see their parents more than a couple times a year.

I was a Grinch on actual Christmas too. Certain people have been throwing traditions down the toilet without a second thought and it pisses me off. I wish I would have been better at putting on my happy face but I was too annoyed.

I need to move but I'm too freaking poor to pull the trigger on getting a place. So for now I have to settle with being the odd man out at home.

Also, I am now starting to get sick. I hate that. When it starts slowly and it's like an impending doom and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

Well the world didn't end ...no Apocalypse...so there's always that...